In the bluntest terms, I can no longer “get it up”. My heart doesn’t beat, and even if it could, there is no blood to pump – neither is very conducive to an active sex life. I suppose it could be said that makes our time together a little one-sided; at the very least, Hanna seems to think so. After he shakes and clings to me as if I’m the only thing keeping him together – after he chokes out every name he can think of as he’s completely overwhelmed – after, when we’re laying together, my hand spread out over those unnerving scars and staples, he’ll talk about how he wishes he could do something for me, too.
And every time I’ll reassure him, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me, and I can’t find the right words yet. So I just hold him, soaking in the only warmth I can remember now, and tell him he does enough.
Since people seemed to like this on y! - like, a lot - I thought I'd put it up here.
I've had this drabble laying around foreeever, and when I showed ~SpookMouse
she basically, uh, demanded that I post it. Then I drew the sketch to go along with it, and I kind of like it, even if apparently I can't draw Hanna worth a damn, Jesus. Also, the title is a line from "Topeka" (by Ludo, natch) because I couldn't figure out what the fuck to call it so i just put my playlist on random and picked the first vaguely fitting line. Hurf durf.